things you don’t want to hear

First of all, I want to apologize for going MIA for like the last two months. With finals coming up, I feel like my brain has been swamped with SO MUCH negativity for the past couple of weeks. This is a rough time of year for a lot of people (especially college students, please be nice to us), and while doing some reflecting, I started to think about life in general, and the hard times that it can bring.

Edgar Allen Poe once said that sadness was the most beautiful human emotion. In high school, I just kind of thought that he was an overly depressive guy, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to understand what he meant. In college, it feels like it’s impossible to have real feelings about things. School is hard, you’re learning to live on your own, and a lot of the time it feels like it’s every man for himself. Because of those things, I’ve found it so common that people become shut off, distant, and completely desensitized to the other people and feelings that surround them. I believe when Poe said sadness was beautiful, he was hinting at this phenomenon in humans. To see someone care about something or someone, to the point that they feel sadness is their absence is in fact beautiful. In a hard world, seeing genuine and real emotion out of human beings is rare.

 

With that said, I started to think about what sadness really is, and what causes it, and I came up with a list of things you don’t want to hear, bear with me, there’s a point, I swear.

 

1. Things are not always going to go your way, no matter how hard you try. Whether it be a final, a relationship, or simply just your day, there are some things in life that just aren’t going to go the way you want them to, even if you do everything in your power to prevent it.
2. People are going to disappoint you, and you are going to disappoint plenty of them. We are all subject to human error, and sometimes it can leave you in the most heart wrenching of places.
3. People are going to walk away. To make this one a little worse, it’s normally for reasons that you don’t quite understand, and you have to find your own closure and move on.
4. You are going to get hurt, and you are going to hurt others. It’s inevitable.
5. You will most definitely invest your energy in the wrong things, and invest emotion in them too, and by the time you realize they are the wrong things, it will be impossible to get out unscathed.

 

Now you’re probably thinking “wow Carley, just what I needed, something depressing right before finals,” but hear me out.

 

One really cool thing that I’ve come to realize is that you hold the power to change all of these things, and by doing something really simple:

 

Changing how you think about them.

 

It is the most empowering and humbling thought all at the same time, but the truth is that the only thing you can really control in life is your attitude. In the midst of all the negativity, it is simply perspective that can change everything.

 

Think of the happiest person you know. Think about the way that they radiate positivity and love.

 

Now think, what is stopping you from being that person to someone else?

 

What is stopping you from being the absolute best person that you know?

 

It costs nothing to be kind, and there’s no greater power than maintaining a soft and open heart in a world that demands it to be rigid. So why do we keep making excuses to not be the best version of ourselves? Is it laziness? Self-doubt? Why is there a gap between the person you are and the person you want to be?

 

When you stop making excuses for it, a lot of things start to fall into place.

 

I saw a quote the other day that simply said, “But listen, everything can be different, if this time you see this ending as a chance to start again,” (By F.E. Marie) and it spoke to me. Why have I been viewing doors closing as negative? Yes, it hurts, and it should, because that means you care and it means that you love others, and that is GREAT. BUT, why do we let negativity and hurt linger? Why do we give it the power to control us? Why do we let it stop us from being our own favorite person?

 

So, my question to you is this:

 

What is stopping you?

 

And why is it more important than your own happiness?

 

Happiness, love, courage, and every other good thing is at your fingertips, and the only thing stopping you from having every single bit of it is the conscious choice you are making to not reach for it by not changing your own thinking habits.

 

Everything you want is out there, whether it be an A on your exams, love, compassion, etc.

 

It’s out there.

 

Keep going.