me too.

If you think you don’t have your life together, this one’s for you.

For starters, I am 20 years old, in college (technically a Senior, but we won’t go there), and if you ask me what I want to do with my life, I will kindly and respectfully laugh in your face.

Yes, legally speaking, I am an adult; however, this in no way means that I have my life together. I think I speak for a huge population of college students when I say that not only do I not have my ducks in a row, I don’t even know where my ducks are, haven’t seen those babies in months.

So, let’s get something straight, there’s a few things that do not make you an “adult”

1. Knowing exactly what you want to do with your life.
   1. I know grown people who still have 0 clue what they’re doing. Like yes, they have jobs, families, etc. but, if you judged them on the way that they conducted themselves in their everyday lives, you’d see they are about as much of an adult as an elderly chimpanzee.
2. Having power/control over other people.
   1. Again, I know ~grown ~ people who have very important jobs where they are in charge of other people, and they’re the kind that you talk to for about 2 minutes, and start to wonder, “Who the %$@# gave you this job?” The best example of this I have is a volleyball coach that I had in high school, absolutely loathed the dude, but for some reason other people worshipped him. During practice, he would literally throw out bogus statistics and techniques, and he was getting paid a sickening amount of money to do so. After I got annoyed enough to do some digging, I found out he had never actually been on a single volleyball team in his life (shocker) and every single statistic he said was literally pulled straight out of his butt (and he got paid a lot of money to be a pathological liar, let me tell you).
3. Being in a stable relationship/engagement/marriage/whatever you consider it to be.
   1. I know people who are single and more mature than several people I know who are married. Point blank, I said it, not even sorry.

Now, all that peace being said, on my merry little way to becoming a better person, I’ve noticed some things that have come with maturity. The really cool thing about most of them is that you’re in control. It’s not like a job or a relationship, but rather, they are thinking habits that have made all the difference in my life.

Things that DO make you an adult:

1. Wanting peace more than you want revenge.
   1. Man, I’ve been put in some situations recently that it would be so easy to simply seek revenge and hurt a lot of people, yet even in my most rash moments, I found it a lot more satisfying to just sit in the silence of the situation, and do something absolutely radical: nothing. There’s something about growing up that has made me no longer want to be petty and seek revenge, but rather just simply do nothing about it, find peace in the fact that there’s nothing to gain from “getting even,” and coming to the realization that moving on and not entertaining low people is the boldest action you can make. I read a quote that said “Her revenge wasn’t loud, or petty, or nasty. Her revenge was silent, because growth cannot be heard.” And it hit me, the best “revenge” you will ever get is the ability to pick up your own pieces, process what you need to process, and move the hell on. Also, the ability to forgive in these situations, and understanding that even if people lose you as a friend, they should not always gain you as an enemy.
2. Possessing the ability to entertain opinions, even if you don’t agree with them.
   1. If you don’t know me, it’s probably necessary that you know that I was raised in an extremely conservative family. When I tell you that I was firm in my views, I mean I almost had a meltdown when I found out that my roommate was a very strong liberal. I figured there was no way we would get along, no way we could live in a house together, much less be friends. Two years later, she is my best friend, confidant, and practically my sister. She taught me that even if I don’t agree with something, it is ALWAYS worth hearing the other viewpoint on a subject. Even if you don’t agree, part of being a mature and authentic person is the ability to entertain ideas that might make you uncomfortable.
3. LOVING OTHER PEOPLE.
   1. Can someone please tell me, as human beings, why we find happiness in seeing other people doing worse than us? Like what sense does that make? Is it self-righteousness? Pride? As I’ve gotten older, what my mom always told me as a child always rings true: “You never know what someone’s going through, so you better be nice.” Being kind, understanding, and genuine is FREE people. It costs you NOTHING to love on the people around you, and it’s more rewarding than anything money could buy you. The ability to be happy for others on their mountain, even when you haven’t found yours yet, is huge, and is something that as I get older means more and more to me. Celebrate the happiness and well-being of others, and great things will come to you in time, on their own schedule.

I don’t have everything figured out, I’m 20, hell maybe that’s the fun of it; however, I’m on a road of growth, and let me tell you something, I am more than fine with that. I hope I never really figure it all out, because I’m having way too much fun on the journey.